Monday, July 29, 2002


So, I';m at amanda's now-but she's at work so I'm tryin to amuse myself. Sounds like a goo plan eh? 'm feeling so utterly blank lately...not so bad today as it has been. Its like I'm completly cut off from my emotions...and do you know what? it feels good. Cuz emotions really suck....the only thing you get out of having feelings is dissapointment and grief and hurt and death.So why do people allow themselves to feel anything? It seems a futile pointless painful thing-and god i know that it doesn't just seem that way- IT IS! ARG!!!! Everyone should just push everything down deep into their guts so that they can enjoy their lives and so that no one knows they're huting. Seriously-its a great way to live. I've been doing it for years...well..with the exception of a few weeks the freaking end result being the reason that i feel that blankness is so F#%@ ing good. Bah-well thats enough for now....i don't need to drone about nothing


posted by that girl at 1:02:00 p.m.


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